Keep Going
“Which way do you want to go?”
My dad asked me on our evening summer walks when I was younger. We had walked down to the Harbor about to turn into Orienta, a section of Mamaroneck. I pointed and we aimed into that direction as the sun started to go down for the night. I loved that summer nights were later. The walks became magical. I didn’t know the streets and they were all new to me at this young age. Each turn was a new avenue and opened my eyes to possibilities. It was my wonderland. That is where my Dream journey started.
We talked about topics that now I value so much. We talked about how important it is to have God in our life. How important it is to think about the future and start to mold the life I want for myself. How important it is to always be surrounded by good people.
“Fashion.”
I distinctly recall wanting fashion to be my future. To design clothes of loud colors in a perfect preppy fit. Go to runway shows and travel the world to learn more about fabrics and style. It felt so glamours and perfect. Each year in the New York Times put out the Fashion Week Magazine, I studied it for hours. Ripped open the entire issues and made lots of notes. I plastered my walls and ceiling with these photos, replacing the ones I no longer liked from year to year.
That Dream never faded, it also didn’t make it to the top of my list. As school years got older and the Dreams I wanted didn’t align with what my current world offered. I moved on to something else.
Those early years I felt I so close to my faith. I was not jaded or influenced to steer me down the wrong way. My world was joyful because that was all I knew. Those summers had endless memories. Trips after dinner for Italian ices at Walter’s. Quick runs to the beach after camp for a swim to the dock and back. Man hunt with the neighborhood kids. Retreats on the steps for pretzels and lemonade. Montauk vacations. I didn’t have a need or a want for anything more. I was full of abundance.
When I heard the voice within in me tell me to leave my job and start writing. I finally listened. The other times my heart spoke to me I gave it back excuses that brought me into a depressed area. God never gave up on me. I kept moving.
I loved to write. I loved to write what was on my heart. My short stories continued into my twenties. Short stories became longer stories of Dreams that were vivid and needed to be put on paper to understand them. I didn’t share them. When I was in my first serious relationship, I let him read the book I wrote. Then I found it ripped up on the floor. Ashamed of my work, I left writing behind me that day.
There are many Dreams that we wanted to pursue as children. We know what we see. I wanted to be a fashion designer, yes. I also wanted to be a doctor. I was afraid to tell anyone because it felt out of reach. I didn’t like doctors. I cried like crazy each doctor’s visit. Even better, I can’t deal with blood. That Dream didn’t make sense to me. I couldn’t get down chemistry or biology. I fainted in freshman science. How could this be that I had a desire to become a doctor?
“Jesus answered, “You don’t understand now what I’m doing, but it will be clear enough to you later.”
“Keep writing.” The voice within kept repeating. I wrote two novels that were emotional. I put so much of my heart in those pages. The characters became more than a part of me. It was even more emotional to not know what the path was going to look like when I set them out into the world.
I was in a daze for a few weeks after my second book was done. There were feelings in my heart that I didn’t understand. During this time, I was told that I broke someone’s heart when I thought he broke mine. I didn’t understand things through his eyes, I only saw it how I wanted the outcome. I wanted to be the victim. I was feeling hurt and lost because I wasn’t following my Dreams. I needed to understand the whole picture through a new lens. It was time to “keep writing”.
Soul Meets Body, for those who have not picked it up yet, this book is a romantic story about following your heart. It became all my feelings that needed to get out through these characters. I learned to trust the plan that God has for me that sits in my heart. Maximo and Blake became so real to me the story flowed out of me. Even if your heart leads you down the wrong path, God will always bring you back to where you are supposed to be. Wiring this book changed me so much. It brought out of me my desires to be the best version of myself and rid of what was no longer serving me. It is a gift my Dreams have been asking me to find. I am grateful.
Where are my Dreams today?
It is finally all tying together. My next novel, Date with Kate almost completed and talking to agents which is a Dream I felt was impossible. My books all have inspired so many, I am grateful. I also moved my focus of my business to concentrate on coaching and consulting. Although I can offer more than what is on my website, I want to focus on helping others find their Dreams. Igniting the fire within and see their true potential. When you can identify your Dreams, your goals become aligned. You will become the best version of yourself. Imagine that?
Answered Dreams. I believe my stint in healthcare for a few years was no accident. There is a serious anxiety about blood, I can now understand why. Becoming a doctor was not my calling. HEALING is my calling. When I get closer to my relationship with God, I feel complete and full of abundance. The same faithful feeling I had as a child. The material things don’t serve me. What is in my heart serves me. I help people get there. My Dream of being a doctor was to help others heal their heart and get themselves closer to God. My Dreams today are flourishing.
As an Author and a Coach, I will continue my works to achieve these new goals my Dreams have given me. I never give up. My fashion design days haven’t given up either. I was able to develop a clothing line a few years ago and produced some pieces. I am not stopping there. I have many more Dreams that will come true for me. Many that I am not ready to talk about. Out of the many gifts that Soul Meets Body gave me on this writing journey, it showed me I am worth more than the lens I was looking through. I am going to keep going knowing God is always on time. If a Dream is yours, it will find you. Change your lens. Amen.
If you need help and want to discover how you can ignite your fire within, identify your Dreams and become the best version of yourself.
I would love to hear from you!
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The more you help with these little things helps me get a bit closer to my Dreams.
Contact me: dk@debbykruszewski.com
